Holy Friends for an Imperfect Mom
Being a parent, wife, and still a human being adds some new levels of perspective I wouldn’t have considered 10 years ago. As much as I tried to plan for everything when I was the ripe old age of 19, life has a way of not being exactly to plan. Motherhood has shifted how I look at saints. I used to admire those who made huge impacts in their time, but now, now I am admiring those who simply lived every day with God as their focus.
As I’ve written in previous posts, I’ve tried to go back through scripture to see how Mary would have responded to my situation. I have rarely found many examples that are easy to relate to. Granted that is also due to difference in time period. But she is someone I look to for an example of patience and grace.
Another one of the saints I frequently look to is St. Zélie. To be honest, she is probably my favorite saint at the moment. If you don’t know her, she is the mother of St. Thérèse of Lisieux (the little flower), as well as two others who are on their way to canonization, and a variety of others who entered religious life. A quote of hers that I look back to often is “Oh well, that’s the day so far, and its still only noon. If this continues, I will be dead by this evening!” Many times, I tell myself that Zélie survived that day — so too shall I. She survived her days of motherhood by going to daily mass, consistent prayer life, and struggling through life with Jesus.
Not only are my own kids encouraging my exploration of saints, so too are the kids I've been working with in my catechism classes. Yes, I am a catechist. Due to this, I've been reading and learning more about the canonization process to help my students. It takes years, in case you were wondering. One example hits close to home, Nicholas Black Elk. He was an Oglala (Sioux) Chief from the Black Hills in South Dakota. His cause for canonization was opened in 2017 with the Diocese of Rapid City. If you want to read more, you can go to CNA. I appreciate his connection to his Lakota culture and his devotion to Christ. In some mentions its explained that he would hold his pipe in one hand and a rosary in another.
I can't tell you to get to know just one saint — because there’s a saint for every joy, every sorrow, and every season of life. You just have to look for them. These holy men and women remind us that we’re not alone in the struggle toward holiness. The path to sainthood isn’t perfect, linear, or reserved for the already-saintly. The saints came from all walks of life — and many wrestled with sin, hardship, or doubt before they turned their eyes fully toward Christ. That’s what gives me hope.
St. Zelie Martin (Image from Maidens of Mary)
Another saint with struggles, is also my patron saint, St. Bernadette of Lourdes. She is still a large influence on me. She was plagued with illness throughout her life. Even through that struggle she did not lose faith in the Lord. Her devotion and persistence in prayer are qualities I’ve always admired and hoped to imitate. Did she have kids? No, so maybe not a motherly example of prayer, but dedicated all the same. St. Bernadette’s health struggles and ultimate devotion is what led me to choose her as my patron saint. I admired her connection with Mary.
I can say, I have learned of more saints after I became a mother than I paid attention to as I was growing up. My son has become interested in St. George, the dragon slayer. His story reminds me of the grandeur that many of the saints hold. But it also points out the strength in standing up for what we believe in.
Nicholas Black Elk (Photo courtesy Marquette University Libraries)
